What I've learned about work that has worked for me

Given my disposition, I found it difficult to turn off work physically and mentally, especially when I was working in tech where the products, services and culture all lent themselves to an “always on” mentality.  Within this “real world” context, I quickly found myself struggling to create work/life balance mainly because I had a hard time establishing boundaries for myself and, thus, for others.  Consequently, my career was marked by short sprints of productivity (usually 1-2 years) followed by painful “crashes” (usually 6 months to 1 year) wherein I had to unplug from everything (usually through being out of the workforce) in order to recuperate.  Rather than securing my survival, this work/life pattern was undermining it.  

Turning Point  

My negative work/life pattern, coupled with a number of other life events, created a perfect storm that finally forced me to reexamine and reordered my priorities.  While at this crossroad, one of the stories that resonated and has stayed with me was about Japanese flower arrangers.  To fill a large container, they would put in the largest rock first and then fill up the surrounding space with pebbles.  What I extrapolated from this story was: do the hard stuff first.  Then, fill in the remaining space with tasks.  Slowly, I started to integrate this simple strategy into my work day.      

My “typical” work day (now)  

It’s been more than a decade since I took my first conscious step towards establishing a healthier work/life balance.  Individually, those steps didn’t feel like much at the time.  Collectively, they’ve been life-changing.

These days, I typically ease into my day by first meditating for 60-minutes and then taking a walk for 20 to 30-minutes.  Only after being awake for about two hours do I go to my desk and begin work-work.  Rather than immediately power up my laptop to check e-mails, I usually pull out a Post-it note pad (yup, low tech) and jot down the top 3 things (big rocks) that I need to get done for the day with the most difficult being first.  For me, these rocks are usually client financial planning work, writing or reading.  Two-four hours later, when I’m usually done with the big rocks or have realized that it’s best to table and revisit the remainder at a later time do I then check/respond to e-mails (usually for 1-2 hours). 

By around 2PM or 3PM, I’m usually done with my most important, pressing work.  To rejuvenate, I eat lunch and take another 30-minute walk or a 60-minute nap (sacrilege!).  If my workload is on the heavy side, I’d clock in again in the evening (9PM – 11PM) to do more work…usually in preparation for the next day.         

Lessons learned 

Metaphorically speaking, my day is the container buffeted by unstructured time at the beginning and the end. Such “down time” are devoted to the seemingly mundane activities of life: meditating, walking, eating, napping, catching up with family/friends/neighbors, sleeping, etc. However, it’s my life (the container) that creates space for my work. Additionally, I’ve come to realize that, for me, work is best done within a limited (contained) space as this helps me prioritize and be more productive. In doing the hard stuff first, not only am I better able to match my physical and mental energy level to the work at hand, but am also able to walk away when the most important work is done so as to get back to life.

Conclusion  

Work/life balance is a very personal decision. I share my experience not to hold it up as the “right” way and, thereby, subconsciously impose it on others, especially women whose circumstances may be quite different from my own. (For example, I don’t have children and so could never completely understand how consuming that responsibility can be.) Rather, I want to show the slippery slope that was inherently a part of my (and likely many others) effort to make a living. For me, work subsumed life and, thus, resulted in an imbalance marked by manic activities followed by burnouts.  However, as I slowly reoriented my understanding from work/life to life/work, I was able to approach both with greater balance and, thus, sustainability.  This has been a long journey, and in no way have I arrived.  But, step by step, I’m walking down a decidedly different path that has allowed for life and work in equal measure and, thus, the opportunity to experience both with greater satisfaction and joy.